Well.. Most probably know now anyways. I have applied to another guild.

When it came down to it, I still wanted companionship, close friends, people to call my own, and all that... Even if I couldnt handle the pressures of leading myself.

Anyway, the guild I applied to was 22... I have friends there, and Fleur has been a good friend for a very long time, often dropping hints that if conditions ever changed, I should consider applying. I did think about it considerably before hand.

I did apply, and await the decisions of the votes. I'm actually pretty nervous (Even though I perhaps shouldnt be. I've done the guild application thing a couple of times before).

Why does part of me feel like I'm going to fail already? I really need to snap out of any pessimistic underlying attitudes and just wait and see what the result of the vote is.... I might do Ok. I of course will understand if they reject me also. I couldnt blame them one bit.

Sitting alone and almost letting my mind wander back to... Y'know... It... I hoped that something would come along to distract me. And that came in the form of an invitation from Cyno.

I remember a long time ago when I and Cyno used to converse regularly. I was originally jealous of him... I had nightmares about him stealing Wye from me... It always worked out in the end and I also remember we put on a sock puppet show once... A lot has changed since then but I'd still consider him a friend.

Anyway... He invited me to the obelisk of power. There was a gathering. Lead by Sylent One, it was a celebration and almost party to show that even in dark times we still have our hope and our faith... Even if a light source dies out (As it has, for me), there is always more light to be shared. The service was fun. I got to play my zither again for the first time in ages. My song became something of an anthem. The main words went like so:

"Tap yer feet, take a risk, and do the dance, the dance of the obelisk!"

There were many variations and it was all good fun.


Sylent finished with a lovely joy song and the ceremony was over.. Another few marcs of my time well spent, I'd say...

Well... Things have certainely changed.

I think for the better. I do feel like an immense weight has been lifted from me...

I feel pangs of pain, every now and again. Most notably... A new adventurer... Optimistic and curious fellow, wanted to join the FOLLOW. I had to explain to him it was no more, and I felt a little bit sad.

Apart from that, I've been keeping myself busy so as to not think too much about it. I have a arge variety of Ethucanian foods to hand out and possibly sell.. I could start a catering business... I also spoke to Fleur a fair bit. She's an awfully nice person. She recently won a poetry contest and I congratulated her and made a remark about how popular and talented she is. Being modest as usual, she said I should prove it. So I'm committed to getting 20 members of a "Fleur fan club" and a reason why they've joined from each... She knows all she has to do is admit defeat and I'll stop embarassing her!! People who want to join the fanclub and help me win and prove me right should contact me.

Another person I had the pleasure of speaking with recently is Remy. He has a very kind heart and I like to converse with him. I gave him his first taste of sweet nectar, which went down well.

Somethings may change... Thankfully, there are always a few things that don't.

A milestone in my life.

The FOLLOW... Is no more.

I lacked the desire and the fire in my belly necessary to continue running the guild, and as a joint decision, we ended the guilds life to ensure we went out gracefully and with dignity.

... It tore through me like a knife. To the point I could not stand to sit in the guild hall with Urkki and Valorie. It's all so differant now.


My bonds are broken only in name and badge. The FOLLOWers will always be my friends. ALWAYS. I'm proud of them all and they will surely go on to do great things. Perhaps in other guilds. That is a route I too may take. Join another guild where I have friends and wont have pressures, responsibilities, or many duties.

The FOLLOW is dead. The FOLLOWers, are unleashed on the world. Good luck to all of them... And thankyou to everyone who's ever been a part of the FOLLOW... Ever attended an event of ours... Ever spoken to one of us, or ever dropped a kind word in about the guild.

From the original Iren and Garrn Fireblade, to the newest recruits, like Farwathy. Each have been a sheer joy.

If you'll excuse me journal. A brewsky is calling my name...

Failure. That's me.

The Fallen
Searching for some goal in life
Otherwise nothing but strife
The wonders unlocked by a simple form
Everything changes. Nothing the norm.

But, less than a year on
Where has the fun gone?
What happens to the soul
Eminating from your goals?

Are you a failure?
I think that I am
I just try my best
and brace for the slam,
The bite and the harsh
The work that is lost
The things that we do,
They all have a cost.

When is the right time?
When you're past your prime?
When you have no feeling, and your desire
Is cast away, along with that fire?

Am I a failure?
I think it is so
That is the dead end
to wherever I go
It don't matter how hard
It don't matter when
Cos its always the outcome
... Again and again.